


Exhausted Love

by TakaIsPog



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff and Angst, Internal Conflict, M/M, Slow Burn, its 12 in the morning please, skeppy stop being oblivious challenge
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-14
Updated: 2021-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-22 05:55:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,677
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30034098
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TakaIsPog/pseuds/TakaIsPog
Summary: The feeling felt foreign, although he knew what it was. It was love. And it was drowning him.𝐻𝑒 𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑟𝑒𝑑 𝑎𝑡 𝑆𝑘𝑒𝑝𝑝𝑦 𝑡ℎ𝑟𝑜𝑢𝑔ℎ 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑠𝑐𝑟𝑒𝑒𝑛, 𝑤𝑎𝑡𝑐ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔 ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑏𝑒𝑠𝑡 𝑓𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑛𝑑 𝑙𝑎𝑢𝑔ℎ 𝑎𝑠 ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑠𝑡𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑚 𝑡𝑖𝑚𝑒𝑟 𝑜𝑛𝑙𝑦 𝑖𝑛𝑐𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑒𝑑 𝑤𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟𝑦 𝑠𝑒𝑐𝑜𝑛𝑑, 𝑚𝑖𝑛𝑢𝑡𝑒, ℎ𝑜𝑢𝑟. 𝐻𝑜𝑤 𝑙𝑜𝑛𝑔 ℎ𝑎𝑑 ℎ𝑒 𝑏𝑒𝑒𝑛 𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑟𝑖𝑛𝑔? 𝐻𝑒 𝑠𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑒𝑑 𝑠𝑜𝑓𝑡𝑙𝑦 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑡𝑢𝑟𝑛𝑒𝑑 ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑝ℎ𝑜𝑛𝑒 𝑜𝑓𝑓, 𝑓𝑒𝑒𝑙𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑠𝑢𝑑𝑑𝑒𝑛 𝑤𝑒𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡 𝑜𝑓 𝑒𝑥ℎ𝑎𝑢𝑠𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛 ℎ𝑖𝑡 ℎ𝑖𝑚 𝑙𝑖𝑘𝑒 𝑎 𝑡𝑟𝑎𝑖𝑛. 𝐻𝑒 𝑐𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑 𝑤𝑎𝑡𝑐ℎ 𝑡ℎ𝑒 ℎ𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑙𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡𝑠 𝑡𝑜𝑚𝑜𝑟𝑟𝑜𝑤.--aka i was bored and had to write something
Relationships: Zak Ahmed & Darryl Noveschosch, Zak Ahmed/Darryl Noveschosch
Kudos: 23





	Exhausted Love

Waking up wasn't favored by Bad. He would much rather sleep, comforted by the soft cotton fabric of his blanket and the soft snoring of his dog, Rat. Waking up always left a slight feeling of discomfort for the first hour or two before he finally got used to the feeling of being productive, given as he wasn't as active as he used to be. 

_Only for a while longer, I need to fix my schedule._

Bad lifted himself up with a groan, stretching his arms above his head. His dog was scratching at the door by now, wanting to be let out to go on their morning walk, although the time clearly read 1:14 PM. 

Bad enjoyed sleeping in.  
  
He grabbed his glasses from the bedside table and put them on, blinking to adjust his vision before finally getting up, "hey Lucy-Loo! How's my sweet girl?" He walked over to his dog and crouched down, petting her soft, fuzzy head. She let out a noise of content, before turning back to the door and scratching at it again. Bad straightened himself, "alright alright. Let's go."   
\--  
  
\--  
Going on walks with his dog were fun, for him at least. Sometimes he invited somebody to come with them, but they always seemed uninterested and left early with an excuse. He walks his dog alone now.  
  
He enjoys taking in the scenery, even if Florida wasn't the most great place at times. The heatwaves that came in sometimes felt like you were being shoved into an oven, and the oven is on. But the trees were pretty, lime colored leaves falling from some trees onto the ground, beautiful forest green leaves complimenting slightly lighter colored leaves on other trees. He enjoyed Florida sometimes, but today wasn't that day apparently.   
  
It was hot outside, and he was wearing Skeppy's merch hoodie. In 80 degrees. He was silently regretting his decision to change into something with long sleeves and soft material that only made the heat worse. But, complaining wouldn't fix the problem. So he walked faster.  
\--  
  
\--  
Opening his door quickly, he stepped inside, letting Rat run past his feet to her water dish. He shut his door and locked it before grabbing at the blue fabric that covered him aggressively and pulling it over his head. It was thrown to the floor in a haste, sweat dripping from his forehead down his neck. He took his glasses off to wipe in between his eyes, his mood dropping again. So far, his day wasn't going well.  
\--  
  
\--  
1:29 PM, he laid down on his couch, scrolling through twitter. He scrolled through fan-art, tweets from his friends, or just drama (cause he finds it amusing), "I should probably tweet, or something, like a good morning message," Bad says out loud to himself, "or maybe I could DM Skeppy and.." he trailed off.  
  
_Skeppy._  
  
The thought of his best friend made his heart thump against his chest wildly, a almost suffocating feeling of affection for his friend washing over him. He felt like screaming. He didn't like the feeling. Not that it was bad, the feeling usually feels good, but now, with Skeppy being his best friend, it feels _awful_.

Painful. It was painful. This feeling was painful cause he knew it wouldn't be shared. A feeling like this, a suffocating attraction, an undying feeling of wanting to be by his side, to let him hold him, to lean in and—  
  
He felt something jump onto his stomach, snapping him out of his thoughts and back into reality. Rat was whining at him, have noticing his distress, "hey bubs.." Bad smiled at his dog, petting her on the head, "you worried about me? Awwh, come here Lucy-Loo.." Rat crawled over to his side, cuddling into his side. He smiled. This was nice.  
  
  
At 1:33 PM, he decided to tweet. He typed on his phone, and hit enter. The likes and comments started to roll in. He was happy a lot of his fans had his notifications on.  
  
  


  
He set his phone down, staring at the ceiling. He sighed. Today felt slow, agonizingly slow. He wanted to go back to bed. He looked to his side at his dog. He smiled.  
  
_Ding!  
  
_"Hm?" He looked back at his phone. His eye's widened. Skeppy replied to his tweet. He clicked on it and saw the likes go up rather quickly. The power of the fans.  
  
  


  
Bad stifled a laugh. He adored Skeppy. He started typing. He hit send, and again, was amazed at how fast the likes, replies and retweets went up. He shook his head. Enough of that.  
  
  
  
  
He set his phone back down and waited.  
  
_Ding!  
  
_He quickly opened his phone and looked at Skeppy's reply. He responded to it. He couldn't get distracted again.  
  
  
  
  
He closed his eyes, letting his eyes rest. He could feel his anxiety rise. He always felt so anxious when on call with Skeppy, worried he'd say the wrong thing, or let something slip.  
  
God help him if he let something slip.  
  
  
The familiar sound of somebody calling from Discord rang in his ears. He hastily opened his phone and hit answer.  
  
"Bad!" Skeppy's hyperactive voice shot at Bad so quickly he stumbled on his words, "h- hey sGeppy! I'm happy you agreed to calling! I was feeling a bit lonely." Skeppy hummed, "understandable. You did just wake up, right?"  
  
"Well, I woke up like, maybe 40 minutes ago? Less than that? I don't really keep my eye on the time when I wake up, too much work." Bad let himself relax. No need to worry over a call with your friend. It's fine.  
  
"You really need to wake up earlier! We can hang out even more! And maybe I could troll you a bit!" Bad playfully groaned at that last sentence, "no, sGeppy, no trolling today. You muffinhead. It's a calm day."

"Right right, sorry," Skeppy's voice softened, "so, how are you doing? I've noticed you haven't been streaming as often." 

"Yeah, I'm good. About the streaming thing, I've just been taking a break. Not like a break break, but.." Bad trailed off, trying to think, ".. but, a kind of break that's like, allowing me to relax more often, you know?"  
  
"Mhm," Skeppy hummed, "I get that. Just glad you're doing okay, Bad."  
  
"Thanks sGeppy."  
  
"No problem. Anyways, what do you want to talk about? I'm fucking bored." Skeppy's chair could be heard as Skeppy leaned back, "Language you muffinhead! And, I thought that we could just, maybe, listen to music together for a bit? I'm not sure if you'd like too- I just-"  
  
"I'd love to listen to music with you." Skeppy cut him off, making Bad bite his tongue. Of course Skeppy wouldn't mind. He's his friend. Stop worrying.  
  
"Oh! Well- thank you!" Bad beamed, feeling his face heat up slightly. "You're welcome!" Skeppy returns the ecstatic energy, making Bad giggle, "now, what to listen too? WAP? You know? Seven days a week-"  
  
"sGeppy! No! Relaxing music!" He could hear Skeppy laugh loudly. His heart rate sped up, "oh be quiet you ragamuffin!"  
  
"Right right- sorry!" Skeppy chuckled, trying to catch his breath.  
  
Bad let out one of his famous growls, making Skeppy wheeze. He rolled his eyes, ignoring the building love in his chest. He was drowning. He was drowning in something that could be in the end for everything. His life could be ruined by the waves, sweeping away everything he holds dear. He could lose his friends, his family, his fans, and-  
  
"Bad?" Skeppy's voice is soft, worry tracing his words, "you okay? I can hear you breathing funny."  
  
"Oh! Uhm, yeah, I'm good. It's just kinda hot today, I guess." That wasn't a total lie, it was hot outside, but he had air conditioning, and it was on. Now he felt bad."Ohhh, okay," Bad could hear the smile in Skeppy's voice, "that's understandable. It gets hot in Florida, right? Like, up to the 90's?"  
  
"It's only, like, 86 degrees right now, but yeah, mostly it gets up there." Bad replies, stretching his arms above his head.  
  
".. L."  
  
"I hate you sGeppy."

"Love you too."

After a while, they finally got to the music part of their call, which allowed Bad to lay down and think. The feeling was awful. It hurt, badly, and now that he was here with Skeppy, the person that kept making that feeling stab him over and over again, it felt worse.

Love was a dangerous feeling, as it could end up with ended friendships and heartache. Bad didn't want to risk it. He was scared, absolutely petrified. He couldn't lose this. Not now, not tomorrow, not ever.

The light in the room shone dimly, a hue of yellow coming from outside through his window. A wooly blanket was thrown on top of him. It was a comforting sight for others, but for Bad, it was torture. Being stuck here, with his friend across the country, thousands of miles away from him. It was tormenting. Of course, he was abstentious, staying in his home in fear of his friend not enjoying his company, or his personality. It was a looming fear of his. Every time he would think of meeting up with Skeppy, the feeling came back, pulling at his arms to keep him from texting his friend, leading him to his bed to sleep away another night of troubles and sorrow.

Not talking was killing him.

".. sGeppy?" Bad bit his tongue almost immediately. Speaking was a dumb idea.

"Yeah?" Skeppy's voice startled Bad a bit, "uh- uhm- sorry, not talking to you- not talking in general is killing me." Bad made out a quiet chuckle from Skeppy's end, "me too, honestly. But this is relaxing, and I would love to do this again, with you." Bad couldn't help but smile, "I'd love to do this again too! But, could we speak for a while?"

"Mhm." Skeppy's tone was soft, softer than Bad has ever heard from him, the usually loud and slightly obnoxious Skeppy. Bad loved it.

"Thank you. Uhm, could we talk about what we think of each other? Like, how we helped the other? Sorry, it's a bit- straightforward? Maybe a bit random, and slightly concerning but-"

"Bad, Bad, it's fine! I'd enjoy talking about stuff like that, as we've never really talked about serious serious stuff before. Should I start? If you don't want to go first." Bad hesitated. Skeppy was so nice to him.

".. you can go first." Bad said, turning down the music.

"Alright! Well, where do I start.." Bad could hear Skeppy shift a bit, "I think you're a really kind, wholesome person. You're there for people no matter what, and you'd do anything to help a friend in need, even if it put you in danger, which I don't suggest anymore, you idiot," Bad chuckled, "and I think you're funny, and sweet, and really good at acting. You're also really brave, remember how you shaved your hair? I thought that was really brave of you Bad," Bad didn't get a chance to respond, "and, going to the other thing, about how you've helped, you've helped cheer me up when I'm feeling down, and you've been there so many times for me, like when I streamed, telling my fans that I had a breakdown, and you joined the call to help me? Yeah, that meant a lot, like, a lot a lot, you know?" Bad hummed, "and.. that's really all. I just- I love you Bad."

The feeling was back.

"I love you too sGeppy."

Comfortable silence fell over the two for a minute, before Skeppy spoke up, "your turn?" Bad took a deep breath, exhaling softly to calm his nerves, "yeah, my turn," he heard Skeppy move again, probably waiting for him to start talking, "well.. I think you're an amazing person, funny, strong, and just- incredible! You've been able to make me laugh so many times with just being _yourself_ , and I think that's incredible. You're also always there for me when I feel down, or just upset over something, and even though you troll me and make me angry, you always apologize and help clean up whatever mess you decided to make. And, with how you've helped me, you.. actually saved me, if you believe that. I feel as if something would've happened if you weren't here for me, right? And.. you're my closest friend."

"I'm your closest friend?"

"You're my support beam."

Silence fell over them again. Bad felt his breath catch in the back of his throat. _Did I say- did I really just say- no I didn't I- oh god._ Bad grabbed his phone and ended the call quickly. He felt stupid, what was that? Why did he say that? It shouldn't be this big of deal, but it was. He was panicking over something stupid, but at the same time it felt like the world was ending. It wasn't even that bad, but it was awful at the same time. He let something slip. Why'd he let something like that slip? Skeppy's gonna worry about him now. Great.  
  
He heard his phone go off and saw a message from Skeppy.  
  
  
_> You okay?  
  
  
_He opened his phone and replied.  
  
  
_Sorry for leaving so suddenly! I got a bit stressed ^^; I didn't mean to say what I did and I panicked a bit. <  
_  
_> Understandable, but it's fine dude. But if you need to cool off then go ahead, I'm here for you though  
  
__Thanks Skeppy. I'm probably gonna stay off my phone for a while though, but thanks again! If something DOES come up, I'll text you owo <  
  
__> alright, haev fun ressting bad  
  
  
_Bad chuckled at the misspelling. When something calms down, Skeppy always goes back to his lazy self.  
  
  
_I will! Bye Skeppy! ^^ <  
_  
_> bye BadBoyHaljo  
  
  
_He closed out of discord and shut his phone off, laying down again. Sighing, he placed his phone on the table and folded his hands on top of his chest, "that was.. eventful." He spoke to Rat, who was looking at him with confusion. He smiled and pet her head, making her nudge into his hand affectionately. His heart swelled with love for his dog, and he closed his eyes. Content.  
  
_Skeppy.  
  
_He reopened his eyes, that feeling coming back again, that guilt, that flooding love. That stupid love. He was exhausted. So exhausted.  
\--  
  
\--  
He didn't remember falling asleep. So opening his eyes to a setting sun was a surprise. He groaned softly, a pounding headache distracting him from the sun, "ow.. I slept with my stupid glasses on."  
  
He took his glasses off and rubbed his eyes. A pain shot up his neck and he groaned, rolling his head around a bit to pop his neck. He put his glasses back on and sat up, noticing Rat wasn't there anymore. She was on the floor next to him, sleeping. He smiled and stepped over her, picking up his phone. He opened it, noticing a Twitch notification. 

  
  
_skeppylive is live! 4 minutes ago  
COME TO MY STREAM AND CHILL FOR A BIT  
_  
  
_Skeppy is live.._ Bad felt a smile tug at his lips as he opens the stream. He's greeted with Skeppy's face in the middle of the screen, a smile on his face as he greets chat. He listens to Skeppy just talk to chat, read out donations, and just.. relax. It was soothing, and it made him feel tired again. He sat back down on the couch and leaned back. 

A feeling slapped him in the face. It took him by the throat and threw him down a flight of stairs with no remorse. 

He blinked, shaking his head. Not now.

He stared at Skeppy through the screen, watching his best friend laugh as his stream timer only increased with every second, minute, hour. How long had he been staring? He sighed softly and turned his phone off, feeling the sudden weight of exhaustion hit him like a train. He could watch the highlights tomorrow.

**Author's Note:**

> first chapter done, jfc
> 
> my writing isn't perfect, it's not horrible, it's eh. enjoy question mark
> 
> (dont send this to skeppy or bad. please. for the love of god)


End file.
